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Just Posted
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Summer Sayings

Posted by: Leighton | Category: Age 3

We were buckling our 3 year old son, Colson, into our hot car in the middle of July and he says, "Burrr, Hot!"...

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Ice Cream Poop

Posted by: missmandy2868 | Category: Age 2

My 2 and a half year old declared Hershey's Kisses were "ice cream poops".....

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Midwest Weather Confusion

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2

We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...

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Earth shaking screams

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 2 yr old Lucas was doing one of his "terrible twos" gut wrenching screams, and his brother, our 4 yr old son Jack said to him: "Lukey quit youre going to broke the whole house down, then we not goi...

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Cars are built for..

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 4 yr old son Jack asked me if he could take his new remote control car outside to drive it so he doesnt crash it into the wall, I said no its wet and rainy. Then he said, "cars can drive in the rai...

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No love

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 2 and 4 year old boys were fighting, so after some separate time out sessions, I told them to hug each other and say sorry. My 4 yr old then told me that he doesnt give hugs because he is not a "gr...

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Sneaky Sleeper

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

I told my 4 yr old son Jackson to get in bed and go to sleep heres how that played out. JACKSON: I dont want to go to sleep, I want to pretend to be asleep. ME: (exhausted) Ok then, goodnight, lov...

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Invisible People

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son asked me if invisible people could see each other...

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Saturn

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son said Saturn was his favorite Planet;But he didn't want to go there, because they would probably speak French. ...

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Pigs Are Pink

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 6

"Why are you coloring your pig black?  ALL pigs are pink!  Even boy pigs."...

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Most Views
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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

172684 total views, 54 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

172605 total views, 56 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

172232 total views, 55 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

172220 total views, 57 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

171222 total views, 53 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

170983 total views, 54 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

170739 total views, 53 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

170686 total views, 52 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

170505 total views, 54 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

170120 total views, 54 so far today
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Ten Randoms
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Deep Thoughts

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 3

My youngest son said "Mom, socks are not cages."...

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Pigs Are Pink

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 6

"Why are you coloring your pig black?  ALL pigs are pink!  Even boy pigs."...

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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

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Summer Sayings

Posted by: Leighton | Category: Age 3

We were buckling our 3 year old son, Colson, into our hot car in the middle of July and he says, "Burrr, Hot!"...

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Tooshie

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

"is my butt funny when it wiggles?"...

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pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

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Invisible People

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son asked me if invisible people could see each other...

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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

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Dolphins

Posted by: Rachael | Category: Age 2

While driving home with my daughters, my 2 year old starts asking why the neighbors took down there light up frosty the snowman. I told her winter is over so now we get ready for summer, so we can go ...

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Ice Cream Poop

Posted by: missmandy2868 | Category: Age 2

My 2 and a half year old declared Hershey's Kisses were "ice cream poops".....

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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

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Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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