Welcome, visitor! [ Register | Login

Twitter
  • Age 1 (0)
  • No categories
  • Age 2 (7)
  • No categories
  • Age 3 (8)
  • No categories
  • Age 4 (10)
  • No categories
  • Age 5 (11)
  • No categories
  • Age 6 (4)
  • No categories
  • Age 7 (1)
  • No categories
  • Age 8 (1)
  • No categories
  • Age 9 (1)
  • No categories
Just Posted
avatar

Summer Sayings

Posted by: Leighton | Category: Age 3

We were buckling our 3 year old son, Colson, into our hot car in the middle of July and he says, "Burrr, Hot!"...

avatar

Ice Cream Poop

Posted by: missmandy2868 | Category: Age 2

My 2 and a half year old declared Hershey's Kisses were "ice cream poops".....

avatar

Midwest Weather Confusion

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2

We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...

avatar

Earth shaking screams

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 2 yr old Lucas was doing one of his "terrible twos" gut wrenching screams, and his brother, our 4 yr old son Jack said to him: "Lukey quit youre going to broke the whole house down, then we not goi...

avatar

Cars are built for..

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 4 yr old son Jack asked me if he could take his new remote control car outside to drive it so he doesnt crash it into the wall, I said no its wet and rainy. Then he said, "cars can drive in the rai...

avatar

No love

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 2 and 4 year old boys were fighting, so after some separate time out sessions, I told them to hug each other and say sorry. My 4 yr old then told me that he doesnt give hugs because he is not a "gr...

avatar

Sneaky Sleeper

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

I told my 4 yr old son Jackson to get in bed and go to sleep heres how that played out. JACKSON: I dont want to go to sleep, I want to pretend to be asleep. ME: (exhausted) Ok then, goodnight, lov...

avatar

Invisible People

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son asked me if invisible people could see each other...

avatar

Saturn

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son said Saturn was his favorite Planet;But he didn't want to go there, because they would probably speak French. ...

avatar

Pigs Are Pink

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 6

"Why are you coloring your pig black?  ALL pigs are pink!  Even boy pigs."...

Page 2 of 5‹‹12345››
Most Views
Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home/funnytmk/public_html/wp-content/themes/zeropress/index-standard.php on line 161 and defined in /home/funnytmk/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1210
avatar

Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

197703 total views, 44 so far today
avatar

The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

197607 total views, 45 so far today
avatar

Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

197362 total views, 43 so far today
avatar

Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

197257 total views, 44 so far today
avatar

Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

196127 total views, 43 so far today
avatar

I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

195862 total views, 44 so far today
avatar

Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

195620 total views, 44 so far today
avatar

Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

195573 total views, 42 so far today
avatar

Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

195395 total views, 42 so far today
avatar

Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

195034 total views, 42 so far today
Page 2 of 5‹‹12345››
Ten Randoms
avatar

Do you mean condensation?

Posted by: aypapi | Category: Age 9

While at a fast food restaurant, I used a napkin that had been on my drink, to wipe my 11-year old son's mouth. He said, Eww, it's wet!" My nine-year old said, "Don't worry, it's just constipation!"...

avatar

Saturn

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son said Saturn was his favorite Planet;But he didn't want to go there, because they would probably speak French. ...

avatar

Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

avatar

Midwest Weather Confusion

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2

We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...

avatar

pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

avatar

Tattling

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

My 3 year old, tattling on her sister: "She's saying stinky words...  like Stinky!"...

avatar

Wear your helmet

Posted by: autumnleaf72 | Category: Age 4

My 4-year-old daughter Allie asked if she could go outside and ride her bicycle. I said, "Remember to wear your helmet." Allie looked at me seriously and ernestly and replied, "It sometimes works with...

avatar

From Head to Toe

Posted by: bassmasterson | Category: Age 6

I told my six-year-old not to come out of her room until she was dressed from head to toe (meaning she needed to put shoes on). She said, "Does that mean I need to wear some kind of a mask or somethin...

avatar

Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

avatar

Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

Page 2 of 5‹‹12345››
Post A Story

Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

Read. Write. Share. Laugh.

Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

Join Now!

Facebook Fans