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Just Posted
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E.L.L. Spells…

Posted by: footon | Category: Age 4

My 4 Year Old to me: "What does E. L. L. spell?" Me: "nothing" 4 Year Old to 6 Year Old Sister: "I know how to spell 'Nothing'". 6 Year Old: "How?" 4 Year Old: "E. L. L." ...

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Mashed Potatoes

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 6

"Mama, are mashed potatoes actually just really, really mashed up potatoes?"...

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The Wedding

Posted by: Potstickers | Category: Age 5

Girl 1 (5): My dad is in a wedding today. Girl 2 (6): Why? He's already married. Girl 1 (5): No, he's IN the wedding. Girl 3 (4): I know, he's probably the Ring Man....

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Star Wars

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 7

Me (in Darth voice): "turn to the dark side and we will rule the galaxy as father and son" My son: "But what about Princess Leia?" Kids should watch Star Wars in the right order: Episodes 4,5,6,1,2,...

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Deep Thoughts

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 3

My youngest son said "Mom, socks are not cages."...

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Tattling

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

My 3 year old, tattling on her sister: "She's saying stinky words...  like Stinky!"...

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From Head to Toe

Posted by: bassmasterson | Category: Age 6

I told my six-year-old not to come out of her room until she was dressed from head to toe (meaning she needed to put shoes on). She said, "Does that mean I need to wear some kind of a mask or somethin...

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Out Of Nowhere

Posted by: knot2afrayed | Category: Age 5

Can I sit on your butt?...

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pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

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That’s Heavy

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

Olivia, who is 3: "Which is heavier? A really big ice cream cone or an American flag?" Me: "I have no idea!" ...

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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

258327 total views, 27 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

258296 total views, 27 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

258174 total views, 26 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

258146 total views, 27 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

256669 total views, 27 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

256287 total views, 27 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

256228 total views, 27 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

255980 total views, 27 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

255789 total views, 26 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

255536 total views, 27 so far today
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Ten Randoms
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What, what, what?

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...

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From Head to Toe

Posted by: bassmasterson | Category: Age 6

I told my six-year-old not to come out of her room until she was dressed from head to toe (meaning she needed to put shoes on). She said, "Does that mean I need to wear some kind of a mask or somethin...

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Mommy Can’t Dance

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3

My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...

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Obama at Walmart

Posted by: jullyd | Category: Age 2

My 2 year old was standing next to daddy who was watching a news report on TV. My husband pointed to the screen and said: "Look Julian, that's Obama, the US president. A few days later while shopping ...

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Sleeping Booger

Posted by: abraswell | Category: Age 2

I was making dinner one night and i saw that my daughter ava had a booger in her nose so i went to get a tissue and when i came back to get her to blow her nose she said "shhhhh mommy she's sleeping" ...

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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

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E.L.L. Spells…

Posted by: footon | Category: Age 4

My 4 Year Old to me: "What does E. L. L. spell?" Me: "nothing" 4 Year Old to 6 Year Old Sister: "I know how to spell 'Nothing'". 6 Year Old: "How?" 4 Year Old: "E. L. L." ...

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That’s Heavy

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

Olivia, who is 3: "Which is heavier? A really big ice cream cone or an American flag?" Me: "I have no idea!" ...

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Trash

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...

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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

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Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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