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Just Posted
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E.L.L. Spells…

Posted by: footon | Category: Age 4

My 4 Year Old to me: "What does E. L. L. spell?" Me: "nothing" 4 Year Old to 6 Year Old Sister: "I know how to spell 'Nothing'". 6 Year Old: "How?" 4 Year Old: "E. L. L." ...

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Mashed Potatoes

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 6

"Mama, are mashed potatoes actually just really, really mashed up potatoes?"...

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The Wedding

Posted by: Potstickers | Category: Age 5

Girl 1 (5): My dad is in a wedding today. Girl 2 (6): Why? He's already married. Girl 1 (5): No, he's IN the wedding. Girl 3 (4): I know, he's probably the Ring Man....

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Star Wars

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 7

Me (in Darth voice): "turn to the dark side and we will rule the galaxy as father and son" My son: "But what about Princess Leia?" Kids should watch Star Wars in the right order: Episodes 4,5,6,1,2,...

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Deep Thoughts

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 3

My youngest son said "Mom, socks are not cages."...

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Tattling

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

My 3 year old, tattling on her sister: "She's saying stinky words...  like Stinky!"...

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From Head to Toe

Posted by: bassmasterson | Category: Age 6

I told my six-year-old not to come out of her room until she was dressed from head to toe (meaning she needed to put shoes on). She said, "Does that mean I need to wear some kind of a mask or somethin...

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Out Of Nowhere

Posted by: knot2afrayed | Category: Age 5

Can I sit on your butt?...

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pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

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That’s Heavy

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

Olivia, who is 3: "Which is heavier? A really big ice cream cone or an American flag?" Me: "I have no idea!" ...

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Most Views
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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

157864 total views, 34 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

157804 total views, 34 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

157439 total views, 34 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

157170 total views, 35 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

156538 total views, 34 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

156294 total views, 34 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

156060 total views, 34 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

155987 total views, 35 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

155800 total views, 34 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

155420 total views, 34 so far today
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Ten Randoms
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What, what, what?

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...

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Ice Cream Poop

Posted by: missmandy2868 | Category: Age 2

My 2 and a half year old declared Hershey's Kisses were "ice cream poops".....

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Obama at Walmart

Posted by: jullyd | Category: Age 2

My 2 year old was standing next to daddy who was watching a news report on TV. My husband pointed to the screen and said: "Look Julian, that's Obama, the US president. A few days later while shopping ...

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Star Wars

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 7

Me (in Darth voice): "turn to the dark side and we will rule the galaxy as father and son" My son: "But what about Princess Leia?" Kids should watch Star Wars in the right order: Episodes 4,5,6,1,2,...

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Sneaky Sleeper

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

I told my 4 yr old son Jackson to get in bed and go to sleep heres how that played out. JACKSON: I dont want to go to sleep, I want to pretend to be asleep. ME: (exhausted) Ok then, goodnight, lov...

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pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

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Do you mean condensation?

Posted by: aypapi | Category: Age 9

While at a fast food restaurant, I used a napkin that had been on my drink, to wipe my 11-year old son's mouth. He said, Eww, it's wet!" My nine-year old said, "Don't worry, it's just constipation!"...

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Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

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Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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