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Just Posted
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Do you mean condensation?

Posted by: aypapi | Category: Age 9

While at a fast food restaurant, I used a napkin that had been on my drink, to wipe my 11-year old son's mouth. He said, Eww, it's wet!" My nine-year old said, "Don't worry, it's just constipation!"...

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Ummm….

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

"Run! The cops!"...

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Easter Bunny

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...

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Trash

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...

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Tooshie

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

"is my butt funny when it wiggles?"...

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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

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What, what, what?

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...

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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

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Most Views
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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

164638 total views, 54 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

164575 total views, 57 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

164205 total views, 54 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

163936 total views, 55 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

163252 total views, 53 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

163000 total views, 53 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

162772 total views, 54 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

162698 total views, 53 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

162530 total views, 54 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

162139 total views, 55 so far today
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Ten Randoms
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Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

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pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

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Ummm….

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

"Run! The cops!"...

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Funny Necks

Posted by: anjipie | Category: Age 5

"mom, you always play with me when there are no kids at the park" yes, I do. "so you will if no one is there this time?" of course "Cause your not old" Well I am not THAT old! "yeah, cause old p...

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Out Of Nowhere

Posted by: knot2afrayed | Category: Age 5

Can I sit on your butt?...

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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

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Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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