Do you mean condensation?
Posted by: aypapi | Category: Age 9
While at a fast food restaurant, I used a napkin that had been on my drink, to wipe my 11-year old son's mouth. He said, Eww, it's wet!" My nine-year old said, "Don't worry, it's just constipation!"...
Easter Bunny
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...
Trash
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...
Unholy Moly
Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5
At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...
Broken dogs?
Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5
As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...
What, what, what?
Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4
While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...
Big Buns
Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4
I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...
The Birthday Present
Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5
Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...
Mmm. Tree Bark.
Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4
"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...
Broken dogs?
Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5
As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...
Tecksticular
Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5
3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...
I’m Old
Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5
In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...
Unholy Moly
Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5
At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...
Big Buns
Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4
I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...
Easter Bunny
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...
Earth shaking screams
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
My 2 yr old Lucas was doing one of his "terrible twos" gut wrenching screams, and his brother, our 4 yr old son Jack said to him: "Lukey quit youre going to broke the whole house down, then we not goi...
Sneaky Sleeper
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
I told my 4 yr old son Jackson to get in bed and go to sleep heres how that played out. JACKSON: I dont want to go to sleep, I want to pretend to be asleep. ME: (exhausted) Ok then, goodnight, lov...
Mashed Potatoes
Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 6
"Mama, are mashed potatoes actually just really, really mashed up potatoes?"...
Summer Sayings
Posted by: Leighton | Category: Age 3
We were buckling our 3 year old son, Colson, into our hot car in the middle of July and he says, "Burrr, Hot!"...
Mommy Can’t Dance
Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3
My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...
From Head to Toe
Posted by: bassmasterson | Category: Age 6
I told my six-year-old not to come out of her room until she was dressed from head to toe (meaning she needed to put shoes on). She said, "Does that mean I need to wear some kind of a mask or somethin...
Sleeping Booger
Posted by: abraswell | Category: Age 2
I was making dinner one night and i saw that my daughter ava had a booger in her nose so i went to get a tissue and when i came back to get her to blow her nose she said "shhhhh mommy she's sleeping" ...
Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said
Read. Write. Share. Laugh.
Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.
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