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Just Posted
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Do you mean condensation?

Posted by: aypapi | Category: Age 9

While at a fast food restaurant, I used a napkin that had been on my drink, to wipe my 11-year old son's mouth. He said, Eww, it's wet!" My nine-year old said, "Don't worry, it's just constipation!"...

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Ummm….

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

"Run! The cops!"...

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Easter Bunny

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...

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Trash

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...

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Tooshie

Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age

"is my butt funny when it wiggles?"...

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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

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What, what, what?

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...

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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

168318 total views, 19 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

168243 total views, 20 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

167873 total views, 20 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

167863 total views, 21 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

166883 total views, 21 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

166633 total views, 20 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

166400 total views, 20 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

166336 total views, 20 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

166165 total views, 19 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

165777 total views, 21 so far today
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Ten Randoms
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Invisible People

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son asked me if invisible people could see each other...

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Out Of Nowhere

Posted by: knot2afrayed | Category: Age 5

Can I sit on your butt?...

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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

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Pigs Are Pink

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 6

"Why are you coloring your pig black?  ALL pigs are pink!  Even boy pigs."...

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pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

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Saturn

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son said Saturn was his favorite Planet;But he didn't want to go there, because they would probably speak French. ...

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Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

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Midwest Weather Confusion

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2

We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...

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Obama at Walmart

Posted by: jullyd | Category: Age 2

My 2 year old was standing next to daddy who was watching a news report on TV. My husband pointed to the screen and said: "Look Julian, that's Obama, the US president. A few days later while shopping ...

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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

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Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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