That’s Heavy
Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3
Olivia, who is 3: "Which is heavier? A really big ice cream cone or an American flag?" Me: "I have no idea!" ...
Do you mean condensation?
Posted by: aypapi | Category: Age 9
While at a fast food restaurant, I used a napkin that had been on my drink, to wipe my 11-year old son's mouth. He said, Eww, it's wet!" My nine-year old said, "Don't worry, it's just constipation!"...
Easter Bunny
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...
Trash
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...
Unholy Moly
Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5
At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...
Broken dogs?
Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5
As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...
What, what, what?
Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4
While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...
The Birthday Present
Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5
Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...
Mmm. Tree Bark.
Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4
"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...
Broken dogs?
Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5
As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...
Tecksticular
Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5
3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...
I’m Old
Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5
In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...
Unholy Moly
Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5
At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...
Big Buns
Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4
I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...
Mmm. Tree Bark.
Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4
"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...
Midwest Weather Confusion
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2
We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...
E.L.L. Spells…
Posted by: footon | Category: Age 4
My 4 Year Old to me: "What does E. L. L. spell?" Me: "nothing" 4 Year Old to 6 Year Old Sister: "I know how to spell 'Nothing'". 6 Year Old: "How?" 4 Year Old: "E. L. L." ...
Sneaky Sleeper
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
I told my 4 yr old son Jackson to get in bed and go to sleep heres how that played out. JACKSON: I dont want to go to sleep, I want to pretend to be asleep. ME: (exhausted) Ok then, goodnight, lov...
Earth shaking screams
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
My 2 yr old Lucas was doing one of his "terrible twos" gut wrenching screams, and his brother, our 4 yr old son Jack said to him: "Lukey quit youre going to broke the whole house down, then we not goi...
Broken dogs?
Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5
As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...
Color the WHOLE world
Posted by: sarahkhill0703 | Category: Age 3
It was a typical bedtime routine night. Bath, jammies, and teeth brushing. My son Caleb asked me if he could go downstairs to get his favorite blanket. "Sure" I said and continued to turn down the hou...
Summer Sayings
Posted by: Leighton | Category: Age 3
We were buckling our 3 year old son, Colson, into our hot car in the middle of July and he says, "Burrr, Hot!"...
pre-surgery
Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8
So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...
From Head to Toe
Posted by: bassmasterson | Category: Age 6
I told my six-year-old not to come out of her room until she was dressed from head to toe (meaning she needed to put shoes on). She said, "Does that mean I need to wear some kind of a mask or somethin...
Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said
Read. Write. Share. Laugh.
Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.
