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Just Posted
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Dolphins

Posted by: Rachael | Category: Age 2

While driving home with my daughters, my 2 year old starts asking why the neighbors took down there light up frosty the snowman. I told her winter is over so now we get ready for summer, so we can go ...

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Color the WHOLE world

Posted by: sarahkhill0703 | Category: Age 3

It was a typical bedtime routine night. Bath, jammies, and teeth brushing. My son Caleb asked me if he could go downstairs to get his favorite blanket. "Sure" I said and continued to turn down the hou...

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Obama at Walmart

Posted by: jullyd | Category: Age 2

My 2 year old was standing next to daddy who was watching a news report on TV. My husband pointed to the screen and said: "Look Julian, that's Obama, the US president. A few days later while shopping ...

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My 2 year old trying to sing where is th...

Posted by: Jared213 | Category: Age 2

[tube]OC1KjzWKNSQ[/tube] Comes out sounding not quite right, but pretty funny. ...

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Wear your helmet

Posted by: autumnleaf72 | Category: Age 4

My 4-year-old daughter Allie asked if she could go outside and ride her bicycle. I said, "Remember to wear your helmet." Allie looked at me seriously and ernestly and replied, "It sometimes works with...

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Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

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Mean Nana

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 5

About a week ago I was babysitting my friend's five year old daughter. Her older brother was getting ready to go spend the night at his grandma's and later on she was going to be spending the night at...

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Mommy Can’t Dance

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3

My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...

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Funny Necks

Posted by: anjipie | Category: Age 5

"mom, you always play with me when there are no kids at the park" yes, I do. "so you will if no one is there this time?" of course "Cause your not old" Well I am not THAT old! "yeah, cause old p...

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Sleeping Booger

Posted by: abraswell | Category: Age 2

I was making dinner one night and i saw that my daughter ava had a booger in her nose so i went to get a tissue and when i came back to get her to blow her nose she said "shhhhh mommy she's sleeping" ...

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Most Views
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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

159359 total views, 27 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

159298 total views, 29 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

158929 total views, 28 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

158667 total views, 28 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

158030 total views, 27 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

157785 total views, 27 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

157554 total views, 27 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

157478 total views, 27 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

157299 total views, 27 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

156910 total views, 27 so far today
Page 1 of 512345››
Ten Randoms
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Cars are built for..

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

My 4 yr old son Jack asked me if he could take his new remote control car outside to drive it so he doesnt crash it into the wall, I said no its wet and rainy. Then he said, "cars can drive in the rai...

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Just turned 2

Posted by: scrosby | Category: Age 2

My son just turned two last month and over the last few days has really started to voice his opinion about things. Last night I told him it was time to eat dinner. His response was I don't want to hav...

avatar

The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

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Invisible People

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son asked me if invisible people could see each other...

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Dolphins

Posted by: Rachael | Category: Age 2

While driving home with my daughters, my 2 year old starts asking why the neighbors took down there light up frosty the snowman. I told her winter is over so now we get ready for summer, so we can go ...

avatar

Mean Nana

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 5

About a week ago I was babysitting my friend's five year old daughter. Her older brother was getting ready to go spend the night at his grandma's and later on she was going to be spending the night at...

avatar

Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

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Sneaky Sleeper

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4

I told my 4 yr old son Jackson to get in bed and go to sleep heres how that played out. JACKSON: I dont want to go to sleep, I want to pretend to be asleep. ME: (exhausted) Ok then, goodnight, lov...

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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

avatar

Mommy Can’t Dance

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3

My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...

Page 1 of 512345››
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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

Read. Write. Share. Laugh.

Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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