Mean Nana
Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 5
About a week ago I was babysitting my friend's five year old daughter. Her older brother was getting ready to go spend the night at his grandma's and later on she was going to be spending the night at...
Mommy Can’t Dance
Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3
My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...
Funny Necks
Posted by: anjipie | Category: Age 5
"mom, you always play with me when there are no kids at the park" yes, I do. "so you will if no one is there this time?" of course "Cause your not old" Well I am not THAT old! "yeah, cause old p...
Sleeping Booger
Posted by: abraswell | Category: Age 2
I was making dinner one night and i saw that my daughter ava had a booger in her nose so i went to get a tissue and when i came back to get her to blow her nose she said "shhhhh mommy she's sleeping" ...
Summer Sayings
Posted by: Leighton | Category: Age 3
We were buckling our 3 year old son, Colson, into our hot car in the middle of July and he says, "Burrr, Hot!"...
Ice Cream Poop
Posted by: missmandy2868 | Category: Age 2
My 2 and a half year old declared Hershey's Kisses were "ice cream poops".....
Midwest Weather Confusion
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2
We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...
Earth shaking screams
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
My 2 yr old Lucas was doing one of his "terrible twos" gut wrenching screams, and his brother, our 4 yr old son Jack said to him: "Lukey quit youre going to broke the whole house down, then we not goi...
Cars are built for..
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
My 4 yr old son Jack asked me if he could take his new remote control car outside to drive it so he doesnt crash it into the wall, I said no its wet and rainy. Then he said, "cars can drive in the rai...
No love
Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 4
My 2 and 4 year old boys were fighting, so after some separate time out sessions, I told them to hug each other and say sorry. My 4 yr old then told me that he doesnt give hugs because he is not a "gr...
The Birthday Present
Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5
Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...
Broken dogs?
Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5
As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...
Tecksticular
Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5
3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...
Mmm. Tree Bark.
Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4
"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...
I’m Old
Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5
In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...
Unholy Moly
Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5
At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...
Big Buns
Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4
I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...
Trash
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
while holding my hand juni said "gotta take out the trash." and asked her about the trash, and she said it was me!...
Easter Bunny
Posted by: mommyof3 | Category: Unknown Age
easter eggs come from the easter bunnies butt...
The Wedding
Posted by: Potstickers | Category: Age 5
Girl 1 (5): My dad is in a wedding today. Girl 2 (6): Why? He's already married. Girl 1 (5): No, he's IN the wedding. Girl 3 (4): I know, he's probably the Ring Man....
Funny Necks
Posted by: anjipie | Category: Age 5
"mom, you always play with me when there are no kids at the park" yes, I do. "so you will if no one is there this time?" of course "Cause your not old" Well I am not THAT old! "yeah, cause old p...
Mommy Can’t Dance
Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3
My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...
pre-surgery
Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8
So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...
Big Buns
Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4
I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...
What, what, what?
Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4
While eating dinner: “Daddy, are we going to play the dreidel game on Kwanzaa?” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up…...
Sleeping Booger
Posted by: abraswell | Category: Age 2
I was making dinner one night and i saw that my daughter ava had a booger in her nose so i went to get a tissue and when i came back to get her to blow her nose she said "shhhhh mommy she's sleeping" ...
I’m Old
Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5
In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...
Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said
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Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.
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