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Just Posted
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

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Most Views
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Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

238830 total views, 30 so far today
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The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

238791 total views, 31 so far today
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Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

238612 total views, 31 so far today
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Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

238513 total views, 31 so far today
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Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

237197 total views, 31 so far today
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I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

236822 total views, 31 so far today
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Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

236760 total views, 31 so far today
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Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

236518 total views, 31 so far today
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Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

236343 total views, 32 so far today
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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

236080 total views, 31 so far today
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Ten Randoms
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Midwest Weather Confusion

Posted by: momToAllBoys | Category: Age 2

We just got our first real snow of the winter last night, (January 11th) so my 2 yr old Lucas came running in the kitchen and said: Mommy mommy guess what! ME: What? Lucas: Santa Claus is coming!...

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Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

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Mommy Can’t Dance

Posted by: brandilinnperry | Category: Age 3

My three year old son and I were playing with a Dora mermaid doll with a seashell that plays a song when you press it. When the song started playing I began dancing around and told him to dance with m...

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Tattling

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 3

My 3 year old, tattling on her sister: "She's saying stinky words...  like Stinky!"...

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Invisible People

Posted by: lynn | Category: Age 5

My 5 year old son asked me if invisible people could see each other...

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Out Of Nowhere

Posted by: knot2afrayed | Category: Age 5

Can I sit on your butt?...

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Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

Read. Write. Share. Laugh.

Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

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