Welcome, visitor! [ Register | Login

Twitter
  • Age 1 (0)
  • No categories
  • Age 2 (7)
  • No categories
  • Age 3 (8)
  • No categories
  • Age 4 (10)
  • No categories
  • Age 5 (11)
  • No categories
  • Age 6 (4)
  • No categories
  • Age 7 (1)
  • No categories
  • Age 8 (1)
  • No categories
  • Age 9 (1)
  • No categories
Just Posted
avatar

I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

avatar

Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

avatar

Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

avatar

Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

avatar

Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

avatar

The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

Page 5 of 5‹‹12345
Most Views
Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home/funnytmk/public_html/wp-content/themes/zeropress/index-standard.php on line 161 and defined in /home/funnytmk/public_html/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1210
avatar

The Birthday Present

Posted by: Steven Yo | Category: Age 5

Dad: "What does Thomas want for his birthday?" Jennifer: "Well, he likes most anything with rainbows on it. And he like tutus."...

399627 total views, 63 so far today
avatar

Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

399615 total views, 64 so far today
avatar

Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

399588 total views, 62 so far today
avatar

Broken dogs?

Posted by: Rob M. | Category: Age 5

As we were leaving to go shopping one day, we saw a male Labrador Retriever in our front yard. My said, "What a pretty Lab." I replied, "Yeah, but he's not fixed.". My five-year-old said from the back...

399569 total views, 62 so far today
avatar

Tecksticular

Posted by: jokeranker | Category: Age 3, Age 5

3 Year Old Daughter: "Daddy Looks tecksticular!" Me: "Daddy looks TESTICULAR???" 5 Year Old Daughter: "I think she was trying to say spectacular."...

397927 total views, 62 so far today
avatar

I’m Old

Posted by: FritoBandito | Category: Age 5

In the car on the way to get donuts on Sunday morning my 5 year old said to me - If you forgot your iPod, then how are we listening to music right now?...

397596 total views, 62 so far today
avatar

Salty

Posted by: Highlands | Category: Age 6

Mommy: "Why do you keep licking me?" My Daughter: "You taste salty."...

397501 total views, 63 so far today
avatar

Unholy Moly

Posted by: ConnorsDad | Category: Age 5

At bedtime my 5 year old boy asks "Daddy, does the Devil look like a mole?" My answer, after moles have lived in our backyard for several years, was a resounding "YES!"...

397230 total views, 62 so far today
avatar

Big Buns

Posted by: momuvtwins | Category: Age 4

I patted my four year old twin's bottom and said "Your buns are so little" She patted my buns and said "Momma has BIG buns!" ...

397049 total views, 62 so far today
avatar

Then Stop

Posted by: Geeore | Category: Age 4

Gabriella: My hand tastes like mud. Blech! Daddy: Then stop licking it....

396796 total views, 62 so far today
Page 5 of 5‹‹12345
Ten Randoms
avatar

Pooped!

Posted by: JenniO | Category: Age 3

After chasing our dog around the house for 10 minutes. Bailey, who is 5: I'm Pooped! Alexis, who is 3: I'm Peepeed!...

avatar

Deep Thoughts

Posted by: TJS | Category: Age 3

My youngest son said "Mom, socks are not cages."...

avatar

Obama at Walmart

Posted by: jullyd | Category: Age 2

My 2 year old was standing next to daddy who was watching a news report on TV. My husband pointed to the screen and said: "Look Julian, that's Obama, the US president. A few days later while shopping ...

avatar

The Wedding

Posted by: Potstickers | Category: Age 5

Girl 1 (5): My dad is in a wedding today. Girl 2 (6): Why? He's already married. Girl 1 (5): No, he's IN the wedding. Girl 3 (4): I know, he's probably the Ring Man....

avatar

Mmm. Tree Bark.

Posted by: 247Mom | Category: Age 4

"If mommy spends all of our money, we'll have to live in the street and eat tree bark."...

avatar

pre-surgery

Posted by: Bellasdad | Category: Age 8

So, Izabella being sedated before tonsil surgery looked at me and said "if you had four eyes, you'd be an ugly alien"...

Page 5 of 5‹‹12345
Post A Story

Welcome to Funny Things My Kid Said

Read. Write. Share. Laugh.

Having kids is one of the most awesome experiences in life. Some of the things they say will either having you rolling on the floor, blushing with embarrassment, or biting your tongue. This is the place to share your stories or quotes.

Join Now!

Facebook Fans